Monthly Archives: April 2012

One Love

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I cannot think of an act more innate than love.  It’s profound, yes, but it’s also simple and natural and…universal.

Love is a fundamental player in every single facet of life.

Love or – at times – the void of love is always present.

Sometimes I worry that my child won’t experience the full spectrum of love, due to his Autism or perhaps due to the choices society makes in embracing him and his Autism.

I fear others who will not love him, who may treat him as if he is less, because he is different.  I want to protect him from this but I know that it impossible that I could intercept all things hurtful on his behalf.  So I rely heavily on his community to aid me in protecting him through love.

I rely on his teachers, his peers, his neighbors, his legislators and complete strangers to do the right thing – to protect my son’s civil rights.  To facilitate inclusion for him  in his community, to offer support to him towards that end, and to protect him from “bullies” of all kinds,  so that he may live the life he chooses in the community he wishes.

Am I wrong to expect this of our community?

Would you argue that because he is different he is less?

I doubt anyone would argue that he is less.  After all, our nation is founded on the principle that “all men are create equal” and afforded the inalienable rights of “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

Even if our community did fail my son, there are lots and lots of laws that specifically protect him and others with disabilities from discrimination.  They took a long time in coming, true, and they probably do not reach as far as they could in some areas – but they exist to protect my child.

All of this happened because love won out over hate and fear.

Because of the love of those who went before us, no one has the legal right to discriminate against my child because of who he is.

No one can tell him he can’t…

Unless, he was gay.

Because somehow being gay here in North Carolina is okay, as long as you don’t want a side of “liberty” with it.

There are some people who want to take away the most basic of rights from same-sex couples.  They want to tear down families and set the civil rights movement back decades…because they believe that their god instilled in them a divine providence to enact bigotry in his name.

It’s called “Amendment One” and would actually change the NC State Constitution to state that defines marriage as only between one man and one woman.  Right now in NC?  Marriage is defined as only between “one man and one woman”.

Why the rush to pass this legislation?  I don’t know honestly. I’m not sure even the proponents are sure why.  Here’s a website with a very nice looking white family that seeks to explain it.   Honestly, I think it’s just a big cluster-eff  fueled by right-wing extremist fear mongers and allowed to grow into a movement largely in part due to complacency and indifference on our part.

Somehow god got thrown in there and urgency and fervor gave birth to this emotionally charged blurring of the line between church and state – a line created to protect the very religious freedom which seeks to oppress.

Somehow love got lost.

You see, I don’t know this god of hate and fear.  And neither do the hundreds of churches that have bravely come out “Against the Amendment” in North Carolina.

I know I’m more liberal than most of my peers but this isn’t about liberal or conservative.  It’s about protecting the rights of families, of children, of the sanctity of same-sex and straight relationships.  It’s about protecting the rights of all (married or not) who are victim to domestic violence.  It’s about allowing people who are in domestic partnerships to pay for and be part of their loved one’s health care plan .

It’s about letting love prevail.

If none of those things resonate with you, think about the business that will be lost in North Carolina should this law pass.  Now is not a time for NC to take a gamble at becoming more economically depressed.

If you disagree with gay marriage, please allow me to clarify that gay marriage is already illegal in North Carolina so this law is unnecessary at its very best.

I beg you to think about this issue in the broader sense.  Our children, our precious children with disabilities, those who went before us fought long and hard to secure their rights.  They still fight today to maintain them, to enhance them, yes – but someone paved the way to make our work easier.

Won’t you be part of that movement for our friends who are in the LGBT community?  Won’t you stand up for equality for them?  For basic human rights?  For respect?  For dignity?

For love?

Please Vote Against Amendment One on May 8th in North Carolina.

Because Love is Love.  Because we have an obligation to our neighbors, to our community and to our children to fight for what’s right, to protect their rights.  Because it is the right thing to do.  Because they did it for us.

Because we in the disability community were once, are now, and will always be one step away from being the targets of Amendment One.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Autism Action Day

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The porch light is blue.

I changed it today, minutes ago, actually.  A commitment to solidarity and the greater good won out against my cynical apathy.

I know you can’t be cynical and apathetic at the same time.  Yet somehow that’s the most accurate descriptor I have.

“Happy Autism Awareness Day”, I read. ” That’s kind of ironic, isn’t it?”, I think.  One friend pointed out that phrase was reminiscent of the “Happy Hunger Games” cries of those in the Capitol. I imagined me as the catatonic Katniss, staring with awe and horror at the blue tinged masses.

See, I’m happy for awareness. I don’t think we’re done with that fight either. I think that just because people know about Autism, doesn’t mean they understand it, that they accept the amazing uniquities of those with Autism, or that they make the efforts to include them.

But it’s a great start. People are so much more aware now than they were 5, 10, 20 years ago.

And while we can definitely thank Autism Speaks and the UN for promoting awareness.  This kind of awareness is driven by something much more sinister.

Quite simply, more people are aware because more people are being personally touched by Autism.

The CDC released updated statistics on prevalence of Autism Spectrum Disorders in America last week. It is now estimated that 1 in 88 US children will have some form of Autism. That’s more than 1 percent of the population. What’s more? The statistics quoted in this report are based on children who were eight years old (12 now) in 2008. School rosters and early intervention programs are seeing many more children with Autism in their offices now than ever before and this data doesn’t even capture Everybody’s Boy and his peers, he wasn’t diagnosed until 2008 (days before his second birthday).

So this awareness, it must’ve played into the increase in diagnosis, right?  More people are aware of the symptoms of Autism and they are getting their children services.  That’s what this is about.

I don’t think so.  Not for a minute.

I think that there is more awareness amongst the general public, and physicians that lead to more accurate and earlier diagnosis.  I am certain of that.

But I cannot in good conscience say that is the entire story.

I am not one to jump on conspiracy theories and I’m not going to do that now.  I have many times stated my “we have no idea what this is all about” stand on this very blog.

Just because I don’t know what it’s all about, however, doesn’t mean that there’s not something seriously wrong.

We need to find out why this is happening to our children.  1 in 88 children.  1 in  70 in my state of North Carolina.  1 in 54 boys.

Two percent of the little boys in the USA have Autism.

Everybody’s Boy was never meant to be that kind of euphemism.

Our kids need more than awareness.

They need action.

So I put out my blue light.  I put it out in solidarity as a cry for action, from our researchers, our government, and our community.

I ask you to stand with us.   Don’t just be aware.  Don’t just be accepting.

That’s a great start, but please take action.  Because at the rate we’re going - the odds are “ever in your favor” that you might have your own reason to turn your porch light blue someday soon.