He started Kindergarten today.
How unprepared I was for this emotion.
I kind of figured that since he’d been in therapy and “school” since he was 18 months it wouldn’t phase me so much.
Also, you know how when you are pregnant you think about how you are going to have a baby. Not a 5 year-old, a 16 year-old, a 30 year-old?
Right. So I was going to have a kindergartener.
That’s me. Eye on the prize.
Don’t look a second beyond.
I plodded through my summer. Arrogant as can be. When someone would ask if I was ready for Kindergarten I would say the obligatory, “Oh, I’m sure I’m not. But he’ll do great.”
I didn’t think about it.
So on Tuesday we went to the Open House night. We already knew his teacher from the IEP meeting and a visit last year. But it was nice to get re-acquainted.
There were like 794 other kids there. (This number is an estimate only, of course.)
I immediately felt anxious. But it was so safe in Ms. E’s room. So safe and welcoming that I just wanted to stay there all night.
I couldn’t stay though, because we also needed to visit the “other” class. The general education Kindergarten class where Everybody’s Boy will be spending part of his time.
Okay. I hadn’t thought about this part of the evening. I hadn’t thought about any part of the evening except that there is an ice cream parlor nearby that also sells Veggie Dogs and that sounded like a really good dinner.
The “other” class was huge. It was so busy and full of kids – that all seemed so much bigger than our boy – and their parents and siblings.
The speech pathologist was there and tried to introduce him to some of the kids. He retreated. Then he went to the book corner and began organizing the duplicate copies of Dr. Seuss books.
And I…I cried. My eyes welled up and it was instinctual and uncontrollable and yes, ironic considering what I posted earlier in the day.
Kindergarten is like some serious business.
P is all like “The puppets! The puppets! They’re creepy. I don’t like them!”
Admittedly they were a teensy-bit creepy. Kind of like those church play puppets? You know that you know what I’m talking about.
But whatever – I took my cue and we excused (or was it excised) ourselves – back to Ms. E’s room.
Eventually we decided to bail in lieu of ice cream (Veggie Dog FTW) and I managed not to sob too obviously in the hallway.
Today was our first day of school.
First of all. There is this.
“I know, right?”
I did cry today. Not when we left him with Ms. E, but when we were sitting at Kindergarten Orientation.
I get emotional in situations like that – momentous group kind of milestone things. I also think I was a little bit overwhelmed by all that Kindergarten is (or is supposed to be) and how the information I was hearing would relate to my little boy’s experience.
I know it’ll be different.
But that’s okay. Good even.
The sadness passed.
I ate a bagel.
The two may or may not have been related.
His day was awesome.
Cause he is awesome.
When we picked him up today, I asked how his day was. After some probing (to get more than “good”) he told me that he loved Ms. E’s class and he wants to live there forever.
I totally get that.