So…with Saturday being 1.1.11 and all – and me being the superstitious overachiever that I am – I will be cleaning the house top to bottom tomorrow, packing luggage, pulling out grapes, wearing red underwear, cooking black-eyed peas, going for a run, and then to yoga – then struggling to keep my eyes open until midnight.
Because you know – 1.1.11 – I mean that’s like the epitome of strategic for us resolutioneers (I created that word, cause I’m clever like that, and I just added it to Urban dictionary, so you can’t steal my 15 minutes – cause I know you were going to try). Right, anyway, anyone who is obsessed with perfection and “new starts” and “resolutions” and “being a better person” (that’s for you, Gus) like I am would recognize that if you are ever not going to fuck it up – it has to be 1-1-11.
So tomorrow is the symbolic nesting, the cleansing of mind, body, soul, dust bunnies, pictures of old boyfriends, Nutty Bar wrappers, sippy cups, the usual suspects.
Tonight, however, I’m doubled-over in pain due to the bi-monthly (that means every other month, not twice a month, right? Cause I mean it doesn’t really make sense. Bi-weekly should me twice a week, but it doesn’t, unless we’ve all been using it wrong. See, I know you are wondering about this too, but I am going to be the one to Google it for us - our relationship is so one-sided) temper tantrum that my right ovary throws to remind me that it feels neglected and is considering packing up its toys and going home.
So for today – I’m going to enjoy not talking about the “A” word, or anything serious at all. If you seek anything profound, stop reading right now and go here.
Tonight I’m all about random thoughts.
- I saw my first IMAX movie in 3D today. It was Tron. A movie about the interwebs, apparently a sequel to a movie from my childhood (or so I hear), but it was really cool because 1) I didn’t puke from motion sickness, 2) I did not have a panic attack, 3) The Dude was in it – and be assured, he abides, 4) the Dude’s kid was kind of hot in that skin-tight suit…
- I ate at Olive Garden. That’s right, Chapel Hill. I ate at a restaurant chain. How passe, right? Maybe. If by passe you mean prego!
- I used our paper napkin rings to make a garland necklace for Gus. I was going to give it to him in this really cheesy impromptu vow renewal I had in mind – but then the alfredo dipping sauce came – and I forgot.
- My favorite magazine is US Weekly. There, I said it. I’m not ashamed. I like being up to date on pop culture. It keeps me relevant. My favorite parts are a tie between “stars they’re just like us” and “25 things you didn’t know about John Mayer”. (PS: John Mayer is a egotistic malfeasant with a ill-proportioned head that probably doesn’t bathe regularly.)
- I secretly wish that 25 things meme on FB would resurrect itself so I could do it again. Because I’m a fan of shameless self-promotion like that.
- I got Peter two pet frogs (Rippy and Roppy) last Thursday. I totally forgot that Gus hates frogs until I brought them home.
- I don’t understand why Oprah had to take over the only channel I watch. Does this mean no more “Mystery Diagnosis”? Because that’s where I get most of my “cocktail talk” from.
- While channel surfing a few weeks ago I saw Sarah Palin and Kate Gosselin on the same television program – I was horrified – but I watched.
- My favorite thing to do with money is to pay off debt. It’s a bigger rush than shopping could ever be.
- My student loans are coming due next month. How is it possible to owe 37K and not have a bachelor’s degree?
- Heaven is drinking the water directly from a fresh coconut while walking through the central market in Port Louis.
- I was hit by a car in Port Louis (as a pedestrian). Socialized medicine fixed me up quite well – thankyouverymuch!
- While I didn’t have the intention originally, I am now trying to get to 25 things. Self-aggrandizing is fun!
- I’m an only child (which should explain 1-13).
- I haven’t eaten meat since Peter was born. Prior to that I only ate seafood for 2 years, except while pregnant when I only ate things that were dead, fried, and came wrapped in paper. I haven’t eaten dairy or eggs (except cheese…I am human) that were not skillfully hidden in baked goods since 2008.
- I really did eat everything when I was pregnant with Peter. By the time I delivered him I was a full 105 lbs above my average weight. 16 weeks of bed-rest sucks.
- When I was on bed-rest Gus had to take me everywhere in a wheelchair. I couldn’t walk due to severe preeclampsia.
- Peter was born a month early, on my birthday.
- Elmo cake on your 29th birthday is a unique experience.
- Cake is never a bad experience.
- I keep chopsticks in my purse at all times. I prefer to eat everything with them (even cake). I also always have a pair of flip flops outside my front door – even in the snow.
- is my lucky number
- Habla mas espanol que piensa.
- Et Francais, aussi.
- You will never get these three (or more, if you are a slow reader) minutes back. But I hope you laughed a little bit.
It’s okay to be silly. It’s okay to laugh – regardless of how challenging our lives can be sometimes – in spite of those challenges.
Because without humor, without joy, life is empty and meaningless.
Trust me – we all have something to celebrate.
Something like this, maybe?