I’ve tried to live my life by one particular theology, a self-professed mantra sprouted from my favorite quote.
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.” – Robert Frost
What it has always meant – to me – was that taking the path of least resistance doesn’t necessarily get you where you need to go, or moreover, said path might lead you to the right place but without encountering all of life’s “character-building” opportunities along the way.
In 31 short years I have built a lot of character, sometimes by taking the path less traveled, and sometimes by getting incredibly lost in the Himalayas sans GPS. I relish the journey of growth in life. I hate wishing away time, you’ll never hear me say “is it Friday yet” and, believe it or not, I have not one regret.
Every single moment in my life has lead me to this moment. I can’t fathom changing anything, because were I to “undo” the wrong moment, today could totally vanish. Besides, I’d like to believe that even the darkest hours added something to my tome and delivered some sort of lesson (even if it’s not yet realized).
I keep taking the path less traveled by. I mean, what do I have to lose, right? But then again, what if taking the path less traveled by in respect to Peter’s life is dangerous, is wrong, is damaging? What if there is a reason that there is a path most traveled, and that reason is because that path is right.
My point, is that how do we know that what we choose for our children is what is best? I’m fairly sure this has little to do with Autism and more to do with the parenting journey in general.
There are so many varieties of therapies, treatments, idealogies in the Autism community. I would never be so presumptive as to discount anything as “wrong”. I’ve made choices based on our circumstances, in the best interest for Peter, or so I believe.
Though I worry that I might’ve “zigged” when I meant to “zag”. I might not have diversified enough. I might not have researched enough. And it seems ever more weighted by the fact that I feel the heaviness of an invisible hourglass, knowing a window is slowly closing and that we have precious time to make an impact.
So I throw a bunch of strategies together, mostly by intuition, and work like hell. We all work like hell. I figure if I do a little bit of everything…well…you know?
The whole journey I find myself wondering what the “chemin du jour” is, and if it truly does lead to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. How do I apply my life’s mantra here, when it feels most dire?
Though maybe, it doesn’t really matter, because in all actuality circumstance necessitates that our path be unique and therefore less traveled by indeed.