I’m not entirely sure what I want to write about…but I know I want to write something. I can’t believe another year has come and gone. This year has been incredibly challenging and incredibly rewarding. From our move to North Carolina to Peter’s diagnosis of Autism…to a major “career” change…I’ve learned some valuable lessons. I suppose I’ll share them, obvious as they are to most of the population…
- Nothing in life is for certain, it can change in a moment. Flexibility is an important attribute.
- No matter how bad it seems; it’s always worse for someone else.
- You can’t change anyone. You are only responsible for yourself.
- You can tell those who know you that you are “okay” as many times as you want, but they can tell when you aren’t.
- True friendships survive anything – time, distance, and circumstance.
- No matter how much you want to shut the world out, it’s always better when you let it in.
- You can learn a hell of a lot from a two year old.
- You can be a housewife and still be smart.
- If you can express yourself well in writing, you can go far in life.
- One person can change the world.
- If you never ask for help, you’ll never get it.
- It’s okay to dance in the rain, or to color your hair pink…if if makes YOU happy.
- It is impossible to make everyone happy…and sometimes it’s impossible to make anyone happy.
I don’t claim to have had any great epiphany. I certainly have a long way to go before I actually implement the knowledge of the above truths in my own life. It’s one think to know things intellectually and another to know them intrinsically. I suppose, however, that is the purpose of this whole journey. We never stop learning and never stop growing. I know more at 30 than I did at 20. Actually, I know a lot more at 30 than I did at 29.
I’m one of those people that still makes New Year’s resolutions. I’m actually quite good at keeping them. If you “know” me, then it will make sense that fresh starts are kind of my sanity. I’ve been thinking long and hard about what I want to accomplish in 2009. I’m not interested in superficial goals this go around. I’m interested in continuing my spiritual journey.
My resolution for 2009 is to be nicer to myself. To stop trying to conform to some idealogical definition of “perfection” that doesn’t exist. To stop worrying about what everyone else thinks so much and to concentrate on what “I” think. To let go of the past, to celebrate the present, and to let the future evolve on it’s own. I’m also, permanently removing the words “I’m sorry” from my vocabulary. I’ll only pull them out when they are absolutely warrented – and therefore actually meaningful.
Perhaps, the most amazing thing about 2008, was really finding myself as a mother. It’s so incredibly empowering being Peter’s mommy. I have found strength and confidence that I never knew existed. I experience joy beyond my deepest imagination – daily. Glimpsing life through the eyes of a very special two year old has been the most remarkable gift I’ve ever received.
I have no idea what 2009 will bring. I suppose there will be trials and triumphs. But I’m also certain that it will bring many opportunities to learn and grow.
